Emma Joy's Creative Mind

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Your attitude...your decisions

Thought from 1-30-2012: To analyze and take in a lifetime of events is not enough. But to live, and to be able to watch,and see how much you as a person have been able to change. How have your grown? Is a question I ask myself after every great trial I go through. And as I am going through it, I ask myself how can I grow from this? Then when its all over and down with I usually always come out on top of the game. I'm able to change my situation and redirect my life to a better rode.

© March 18, 2012 (Emma Joy Huls)

Goodbye Storm

Goodbye Storm

I lie here

and

I wait

I wait for the

past to

catch up with

the new

ME.

For the past

holds not

a candle

to the new me

I am strong enough

to stand on

my own two feet

and shout

to YOU all

I am free!

from a dark

storm in

the past.

Hidden

Hidden

Hidden names

wink

and call

to me

walking towards

the hidden

names I

question myself

I command myself

but do not

take the lead

guided on a journey

on a

fiery road

that burns my

very soul

I give in

but just as quickly

my guard

goes up.

© March 18, 2012 (Emma Joy Huls)

As I...

As I....

As I sit

As I listen

I wonder . . .

do I have what it takes?

It takes my understanding

and

my diligence to the Lord

to keep my head on

straight instead of letting it roll into

the mud

of the world.

Yet you came

and

You knew me

You understood

who I am

and

I can taste

this newness

like its a food

a food that confuses me completely.

So completely that it leaves me questioning

my sanity and peace of mind.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

A Thought

As I walk

I do not talk

for the words evade

my every thought

the thoughts that can not talk

for no one hears

and no one cares

when the talk begins

to take the form

of my every thought

so silently I walk

as the endless pain

goes through my aching soul

for the thoughtlessness of those

who walk the very halls

of Hell

along by side me

Saturday, March 10, 2012

Story - part 2

Mr. Williams glared down at Mile, and then he turned on his heel and marched to the front of the room. As he turned around I knew that Mile had just gotten the entire class in trouble by the big smile on Mr. Williams face. “Oh, why yes I do Mile. I want everyone to turn in to me as they walk in tomorrow at the fist of class a four page report. And it must be on pages 431-500, and also one of your paragraphs has to be on why you don’t sass a teacher. “I heard the class groan, and could feel their cold glares fly at Mile and I. I just shrugged and stared at the wall. A four page report on my least favorite subject….hmmm…..no big deal, I could have it done in no time. It was not like I had a social life any more.

It would add to my homework from all my other classes but it would keep my mind distracted. As the bell rang, I fled into the hallway; not only to get away from Mile and the questions I could tell he was going to ask, but to beat the crowd. I hated them, even more than the memories in my dreams…almost more anyway. I had grabbed my stuff out of my dull black beat up locker and headed out side to my old beat up Navy blue Chevy truck. As I was getting into my truck I heard an argument. Glancing up from putting my stuff in the truck, my heart almost stopped beating. It was….no I shook my head she was dead there was no way it could be her. As the strawberry blond hair girl turned my way I let my breath out. A breath I had not realized that I had held in. It was not Rosa, as I had known. But she sure did look like her.

As I was about to look away and go, I saw the guy she was arguing with grab her by her hair and shove her to the ground. Then he laughed, as the girl started to cry my temper flared. It may not be Rosa, but the girl was still human. As I started over I saw another guy run over and help the girl up. Then he did what I was going to do. He turned and punched the guy so hard that I could hear bone crack from where I was standing ten feet away. As I saw blood spill out from the guys face and I heard a few girls scream, I felt my world turn.

Leaning up against the vehicle behind me I closed my eyes. Big mistake, I could see that nights events unfold like a nightmare behind my eye lids. Quickly I opened my eyes and then somehow I made it into my truck and safely home. As I sat in my truck in the garage I did my best not to cry. It would do no one any good. Getting a hold of my emotions I went into the small two bedrooms, two bath, and a small kitchen and living room home.

Mom must still be at work, I had not seen the old family minivan. I kept asking mom if I could drive it to school because it held so many memories of Rosa. But mom said no , because I had my truck. Maybe I would take it tomorrow and leave her my truck keys. Yep that’s what I would do. Heading to the fridge I dumped my book bag on the table. Opening the fridge more out of habit I grabbed for the jug of milk, took the lid off and went to drink from it.

Before the jug even touched my lips I heard Rosas voice in my head. The lecture she had always given me ran in my head like a broken record player. She used to tell me; “Sible, you’re such a tomboy! That’s disgusting and gross. It’s also a really bad way of spreading germs; get a cup like a normal person.” I used to ignore her, but not this time. Instead of getting milk at all I just put it away and got a cup of water instead.

Grabbing the laptop I sat down at the kitchen table and began all my homework. Time flew by and before I knew it, Mom was walking in at 9 pm. I had just finished the last of my homework and was putting my stuff away when she walked in. The smell hit me like an avalanche…before I even saw it I knew mom had went and bought KFC chicken….my alarm bells went off. Mom hated fast-food places. She was a health fanatic. Why would she get KFC?

Hey honey, how was your day? I shrugged my shoulders. She had had a small sad smile but it disappeared. Sibleannie what’s wrong? I just shrugged and finished what I was doing. Mom dropped it like I knew she would. Hey I did not feel much like cooking tonight so I grabbed to KFC chicken cause I know how much you and…. Looking up we both realized what she was going to say and I desperately wanted her to say it. Just so I could her Rosa’s name. She continued, “ well how much you love it.”

As she placed the KFC chicken box on the counter and got a plate out to fill it. I was flooded with memories. Rosa and I used to sneak out of the house to go get KFC. We would fight over the biggest pieces. As my Mom handed me a plate I came back to reality. Writing a note to my mom I asked ‘what’s up?” She glanced at it and I saw a flash of guilt and then nothing. Why would you think something was wrong sweetie? I pointed down at the food. As I stared at my mom she began to fidget. Then I saw her gaze drift more than once. Looking I saw the vans car keys…wait no it was a new set of car keys. The vans were not there.

I ran to the garage, I heard my mom’s worried voice in the background but blocked it all out as I stared into the dark garage. Sure enough the old red minivan full of memories was gone. And in its place was a small white car. Even though I had blocked my mom out I knew what she was saying. It was going to be the same speech she gave Rosa and I after Dad died when we were five. It was the same speech she gave me almost 4 months ago when I first woke up in the hospital to find out that Rosa was gone forever. And it was the same speech she always gave when things got too rough for her to handle.

I ran to my room and slammed the door, tossing myself on to my bed the cursed tears spilled out. Everything was changing, and I was forgetting what Rosa, my dear sister Rosa looked like. As my tears soaked my pillow I drifted off into a fitful sleep full of my worst fears.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Story - part 1

- Prologue -

Mile likes to Smile twenty-four seven

Lide likes to Glide down the hall

Rive has always liked to Drive

Fashion is Ash's thing

History is all Tory knows

And

Well then there is Me

I am impossible to understand

and my friends call me

Sible

and this is our Story

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

- Chapter One -

Ok, so I was a little offended. I mean I mean I had been coming to this school for what 3 months! And not only did the red hair freak I sit by in Biology just realize that I exist, and the teachers can never remember my name. I mean I have been sitting next to him for 3 months and he just now asks me if I'm a NEW student.

Instead of explaining that after 3 months I am not considered a new student any more, I gave him a glare and decided to ignore him. I turned my attention back to Mr. Williams. It would be better to ignore him. Over the last 3 months I has learned to just ignore everyone. It was better that way, no one would have to find out what happened, and no one would have pity on me. As my thoughts began to turn back to that night I quickly blocked the images out and did my best to concentrate on what Mr. Williams was saying.

But trying to listen to him was like trying to listen to thin air when someone next to me, was staring at me. Namely a red head porcupine who had a really creepy look and smile. Deciding to give him a piece of his own medicine I turned and stared at him. We were trying to stare each other down when I felt myself trying not to grin. At that same moment i saw him trying not to grin...wider then he already was. My smile broke fee and porcine laughed hard. Which sent his long red spiky hair into a wild dance.

The next thing we knew Mr. Williams was in front of us slamming a ruler down between us. We both jumped 20 feet...well not quiet 20 but you get my point. My smile disappeared back into the blank look I had mastered after I had found out about Rosa. Although " Porcine", just surprisingly smiled WIDER up at Mr. Williams, like an innocent little boy. Mr. Williams didn't smile back, but he glared down at us with a look that could kill. I decided I did not like Mr. Williams he had "that" look in his eyes. The look that.... I was brought back out of my thoughts when Mr.Williams spoke.

Mr. Mile Slander, and Miss......... whats your name again? Mr. Williams asked me with a pointed look. I looked up at him as my thoughts swirled. Not one teacher could remember my name...not even after 3 months. Picking my pencil up i wrote it down and handed the paper to him. Mr. Williams went to say something but as the name on the paper connected with his memory, I saw pity fill his gaze. I quickly looked away, I never asked for this, or any ones pity. Why did mom have to tell all the teachers on my first day of school here?

Well, Mr. Williams continued without trying to pronounce my name. "Do you two have anything to say to the class?" I shrank into my chair , and shook my head. Mr. Williams gaze went from me to porcupine ...no Mile....his name was Mile, not porcupine. Mile's smile got a whole lot bigger...surprisingly. He looked up at Mr. Williams and said "Nope I don't...but I'm pretty sure you do."