I am not a victim, I am a survivor

Often I have heard so many times "I am broken, so why should I be a better person?"

I have seen so many people who have so much potential give it up. Because something terrible happened in their life. At that point they stop. They stop caring, they stop progressing forward. They start making decisions that they probably should not of made. They say and do things that they never would of done.

Too many times I have seen scares become an identity. Too many times have I seen hope become forgotten, as despair becomes their motto.

Are you a victim? Doesn't matter of what, of anything. Are you a victim of a bully? of a sex crime? Did someone lie to you? Did you have bad parenting? A bad education? Or did someone miss use your trust? Or by chance did cancer steal into your world? The list goes on and on. But it is still the same question. Am I a victim, or a survivor?  Did you push ahead? Did you not let what ever came stand in your way of becoming who you are today? Or did that event or events create who you are? Don't get me wrong, every life experience we have will make us into who we will be. But the question is, will it make you, or will it break you?

Those who read this wont know my whole life story. Some may know me and a little of my story. Although I know many of you will not know. So I will give a brief introduction into how I have learned this concept of making a challenge into a ladder to climb, or a stairway to ascend.

I am almost 21 years old. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, and a mother. When I was 11 years old my older sister my hero, was diagnosed with a brain tumor at the age of 13. She under went chemotherapy, but the tumor grew. She then went through radiation, again the tumor grew. She ended up spending her 14th birthday in the hospital for brain surgery. Her tumor has not grown since, but that does not mean all is well. My family has had to watch her go threw the after effects of chemo, radiation and brain surgery. The medications prescribed to her sometimes made things worse more times then not. She suffered from seizes for years. And she continues to suffer from extreme vertigo which causes many set backs. I can not describe to you unless you've been there the feelings. When you hear the words at the age of 11 that your sister, your hero has a brain tumor. There are no words, and I am a writer. When you go to church, to school and cringe at every loud noise. Knowing your sister could drop into a seizure. When that fire alarm would ring at school and your on the other end of the building and because it is a drill your not aloud to go make sure she is okay. There are no words, none to describe the heartache the pain. When my sister is one of the hardest workers I know, yet she can not work. What employer will hire someone who will work hard for them for one or two days but be down for a week? It breaks my heart to see the things I have that are so easy that are mountains for her. Although slowly she improves, one day she will be healthy again. But its hard to watch.
Then at the end of my senior year, at the age of 18 disaster hit again. My brother who was 16 at the time was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. The doctors were not hopeful, and gave us little hope. I do not remember that year very much. I remember the heartache, the pain. I remember crying and breaking down out of the blue because I was powerless to heal him. And to top it off when you walk down a hospital hallway and all the rooms on the cancer floor are filled with children. There are no words. There is no word to the anguish you feel for those fighting the battle to live behind those closed doors. My brother was one of the oldest children who were there. While he was fighting my family got to know a few others and out of the 3 we really got to know. Only 1 is here still today. My brother is thankfully now cancer free. But if it comes back, there is nothing the doctors can do.

These two trails are two that I can think of at this moment. But I will say that they have only been the frosting on the cake to the last 20 years of my life. It seems as soon as one thing happens and dies down and things start going good again, something else happens. But you have to keep looking forward and beyond.

Too many times I have had people tell me these things: "your so strong" ,and " How are you so positive? How did you come out happy?"

When people say these things too me, I have a moment of pause. A moment of confusion. Because I don't understand it. The way I see it is my life is easy compared to others. My life is blessed. I do not have an easy life but I have a good one. And as I look at it, it is because I focus on the good on the positive. I do not give ear to the doubt inside me. To the despair of the occasion. So many wonder how I have been able to create something good out of something bad. And its simple. Its called you keep going. If you continue walking, and moving eventually you will hit something good in life. You just need to keep going, and remember that your worth something better. Remember that you are worth accomplishing your dreams.

When I was 12 years old I thought my life had absolutely no meaning. I remember being alone allot of the time because my family was divided. My mom ,sister and little brother were up north for my sisters treatments. My dad was working , and working hard to pay the bills. My older brother was not around. It was me and my younger sister. And it was hard. I didn't have someone to lean on at school when the day got hard for me. I didn't have someone to talk to when Dad worked late and the house was quite. I started thinking about suicide. I started thinking really hard about it. At this time one of my truest friends moved to town and she helped give me a hand to hold. A shoulder to lean on at school. She gave me more then hope. And as our friendship grew I started seeing things differently. How could I be so selfish to think of causing a bigger hole in my family? How could I cause more pain to my family? And I could see my baby sisters face if I killed myself. But another thing I could see, was my future. I knew that one day I would become a wife, a mom. I knew that one day I would marry. Who would be a wife to my husband if I were gone? Who would be a mother to my children if I weren't here? Yes I was only 12, and 13 at this time, but I started thinking of a future without me. and I could not allow that to happen. I started making plans, dreams and goals.

When my brother got sick I was dating my husband. We were married a month after my brother was finally able to come home. We became parents to a beautiful baby boy a year latter. We have a beautiful home, and live in a beautiful town. We both have loving and supporting families in the area. We both work jobs, and work as parents. But you know what is truly important. I am here not as a victim of the cruelties in life. But I am here as a survivor. I am here to be a mother, a wife. I am here today because I didn't quit when life got tough.

I know that not many read my blog posts. I know that not many will ever see this post. My hope is that if one person reads this, and it gives them hope. Or teaches them something positive to help them in their lifetime. That is why I wrote this.

God is the same yesterday, today and always....

I have felt compelled many times , too many to count to sit and write this. I have struggled with this because I do not wish to cause contention, or negative feelings. But this must be said.

I want to start this article out with a scripture that has been resonating in my mind, my soul ever since the new Latter Day Saint Church announced the new policy concerning children of same sex couples.

"For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing?" (Mormon 9:9)

Is it really a surprise that the Church has placed same sex marriage in the apostasy category? I will admit that when I heard that they had placed in the policy that the children had to wait tell the age of 18 I did question it, even though part of me understood it, even though I did not know why. But then as I have done my research I have come to realize why I did not jump to anger or hostility. I understand why they have made this policy.

Imagine this: You are are 8 years old, one or both of your parents are in same sex relationship(s). You have made a sacred covenant with the Lord into the LDS church. You have been baptized, you go every Sunday and sit in a class full of other children. And as you are taught about the Bible, the Book of Mormon, and the LDS religion. You discover that your parent(s) are considered to be living in sin. They are un worthy to enter into the Temple. And the life they live is opposed to the covenants you made with the Lord. You then go home and are taught by your parent(s) that same sex marraige is ok. Its not a sin, and its alright. And that the church is wrong.

How would you feel? What would you think? Place yourself in the position of a child who is told 2 different things. Which are they to believe? Who are they to trust?
Ask yourself why you would place a child in that position, to choose between their baptism covenants and their parents.

I understand why the church placed this in the policy. We are really big on the family foundation. We believe that families can be together forever. So why would we want to divide a family home? This is not only for children with parents in same sex marriages. This applies to Polygamist's , and to Muslims as well. This is not an act of hostility but an act of love. And if you do not believe what I have written. If you do not believe the words of our Church leaders. That is your decision. But I will testify to you and to the world that it is so.
If you have not yet had the chance to hear from the LDS church's leaders on why they placed this in the policy go to this link, and watch as Elder Christofferson is interviewed. http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/handbook-changes-same-sex-marriages-elder-christofferson?HP_FR_11-6-2015_dPAD_fCNWS_xLIDyL1-A_

With that said, I want to go and reflect on the scripture above.

"For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing?" (Mormon 9:9)

This article is not to focus on the new policy. It is only what inspired my thoughts. Do you believe in God? Do you believe in a higher power of some kind? What ever religion you are, do you believe that there is some one, something bigger then us all that created this world? Created us , and everything here?  Well if you do then why do we try to change him? Would you tell your teacher in a class room that 2+2=10?? Would you argue with him that 2+2=10 when he tell you the answer is 4? Truly is it not common sense? Do you really believe that you know more then he? Did he not create you? Did he not create this world? Why do we try and take his simple commandments and try to change them? Why do we tell him " Lord, I know this is a sin to you, but everyone is doing it so you must be mistaken"? And I am not just talking about same sex relationships here. I am talking about it all. There are too many people who come to church every Sunday. They partake of the sacrament. They renew those sacred covenants only to go the next day and knowingly break them. My heart breaks into so many shards for those individuals. My heart shatters for all those who do not truly understand the Lord when the answers are there in front of them. I love everyone I meet in life. I love my enemies my friends.  I have tried to hold grudges, but when they are in need or hurt I am one of the first to give them a helping hand. And yes it has stabbed me in the back plenty. But I will not change how much I love you all. Even if I do not know you. And that is why my heart shatters for all of you who happen to look the Lord in the face and tell him you know better. Because my brothers, and my sisters we know nothing compared to him. We know very little. Even if we were to learn all that his world has to offer we will not have all the knowledge that he has. So why do we think we know better? Why do we believe that if it is popular is right, even if the Lord says no?

I do not understand why people will walk away from the Lord, when he tells them no. I do not understand why his simple doctrine is looked at as difficult and hard.

Yes living in this sin filled world is hard. Yes it is hard to watch as wrong is made into right and right into wrong. But no it is not hard for me to say "no". It is not hard for me to walk away from a crowd that is shady. It is not hard for me to say no to alcohol, drugs and extra. And no not because I am religious. No not because my church is against these things. But because why would I partake in something that will cause damage to me. Why would I allow myself to become a slave to a worldly item. I am happy having no addictions driving my life.

How can I, how can you Succeed in a world that fights us??

How can I succeed in a world that seems to be against me every step of the way?

Its called I don't quit! I am always seeking the light in a dark room. I am always moving, traveling, and pushing myself towards...my future. What is my future? I do not know. But I know that it is extraordinary. One day I wont have to worry about much. One day I will be financially secure, one day I will be successful. And not because the world suddenly became easy, and less difficult. I will be successful because I will stand before myself in a mirror and I will see a growth within that no one can take away. One day I will be successful because I say I am.
Oh wait, I already am. No I dont own a million dollar home, vehicles extra... But I am successful. I work hard, I raise my son, I own a store, I write to my hearts content. I work towards success every day. I succeed every time my son laughs or smiles at me. Every time his eyes light up with trouble and joy, I as him mom succeed. Everytime I finish cleaning a dirty hotel room I succeed. Every time I clean my home, I succeed. Every time I see satisfaction come across a customers face as they find a hand made treasure within my small store I succeed. Everytime I see joy light in a persons eyes as I speak to them I succeed. Everytime I can help, support and care for my fellow man guess what? Yep I succeed. One day I will stand among a crowd of people, no differnt then them on the outside. But on the inside I will be full of growth that most people never realize is attainable. I will attain a growth within myself that will grow me success in a world that would have me fail. And I will tell you why it would have me fail. All around we here that if we want it we can have it. We are taught in school if you go to college you will automatically end up in the desired career right out of college and that right off the bat you can  begin to pay those student loans off.. Well then there is reality, one that your not taught in school, one that your not told about. The real life that will hit you. Most employers wont hire someone with a degree, because guess what....they have to pay you more then the person without one. So you become overqualified. That or you dont have the years experience that is required and they dont want to give it to you. So your stuck looking , and searching for job that will give you a step into that career...as your loans gather interest. I dont want to make College sound bad because I know that if your a doctor, nurse extra.. you NEED an education so that you dont kill someone. But not everyone will go to College. and not everyone will fail because they dont go to college. For one thing I have not gone to college, and I will not fail in life. Because I wont allow myself too. I keep myself educated with good books, and lessons learned and lessons I am learning in life.  I just want to say that the point of this article is to believe in yourself, your goals, dreams and life. Take deep breaths and keep going. Keep moving. For one day you'll look back and go WOW....how far I have come....

Do you believe in yourself?

This last month I had the opportunity of a lifetime. I had the chance to learn something I never have. Something completely life changing. I learned that as we learn to trust in not only our Heavenly Father, but in ourselves we will achieve more then we could of ever imagined.

If you doubt your own ability to do something, to be successful in life...well then you will hold yourself back. You will stop yourself from becoming not only successful but from becoming who you could be.

Once you take that step into the unknown, once you leap into not only knowing where you want to go but believing you'll get there. You will. Once you dedicate yourself to achieving what most think is impossible it no longer is impossible. Yes you still have to work for it, strive for it and not stop tell your there and by then you have another goal another to achieve.

When someone gets to the top of thier dreams, goals. It was not by luck that they got there. It was by hard work, dedication, and love for not only who they are but for where they want to be in life. You set that bar. Where do you want to be? Who do you want to be? Well guess what you can do it. You can do what you put your mind to. No it wont come easily, no it wont come because you wish it and dream it and beliveve in it. It will come only after hard work and dedication to it. But it will come, what ever you strive and work towards will one day become yours.

Do you believe in yourself?

I do.

My LifeVantage Start

Have you had the chance to hear about this incredible company? If not here is your chance to learn a little bit about them from my personal perspective. 

This Company has incredible top of the line products that are and will continue to reshape the world we live in. I myself only heard about Life Vantage 7 weeks ago. But in these last 7 weeks my life has been completely changed! Changed by 2 of their products, and by their AMAZING distributor team that I am privileged to be apart of.

Seven weeks ago I had a phone call from a LifeVantage Independent distributor. She called me and told me that she had a business opportunity for me and wanted to meet with me for a few minutes. I being a Craft & Consignment store owner thought "why not, could be something for the store". So I told her to come on by the store that next week.

 I was intrigued by a video she showed me that took 10 short minutes to watch. Abcliveit.com.  At first I was like ok....hmmm.. This has to be a scam...or something. But I was intrigued. Here she had showed me a product that will help reduce your oxidated stess. And Oxidated stress is connected to allot of cell damage and cell damage is connected to well....allot of our bodies complaints. And having seen the result of allot of cell damage by watching my brother and sister and many other loved ones go threw serious health issues like cancer I wanted to find out more. 

If my mind was comprehending even a fraction of what Dr. Joe McCord was saying in the abcliveit.com news clip then I wanted to not only try this product but I wanted to see where this company would go. But at the same time I was cautious. Having put money last year into becoming a Mary Kay distributor and failing miserably at it I didn't want to get into anything that I would end up losing money on again. Although I will admit Mary Kay is a WONDERFUL company, but the reason I failed is because I do not care about makeup, the last time I dolled myself out was .... I think 2 years ago when I was married. .. So it was not that I could not of succeed in it, but it was because I did'nt care to try, or to love the products. 

With that said I went home and posted on Facebook : " has anyone heard of Protandim? LifeVantage?" I had a dear friend contact me that next day and come to find out she too was a distributor... So she asked me if she could come share it with me. I wanted to hear more, so I told her she could. The day after she and her team came into my small store and well we got along great. They answered my questions, my concerns, and I was so impressed I called my husband. I knew that if I wanted to do this, I wanted and needed my husband 100% on board with me. But not only that he is a GREAT investigator. When approached with opportunities like this he goes online and researches...he looks for everything negative, and positive he can find. He looks for the truth and the lies. And he looks and looks and looks. Well after a full week of seeking and looking into this company he could not find anything at all that was truthful and negative. All the facts were truth, there are even published studies on PubMed.gov on Protandim which is the beginning product for this company. 

So we joined, we signed up to be Independent Distributors. And I will tell you that I do not regret it, not will I ever. 

One thing I have not yet mentioned is my depression. Around the time my brother was fighting cancer my doctor prescribed me a medication for depression. I went home and i read the side effects before i opened the bottle. I promptly returned an un opened bottle to my doctor and informed him that i did not want to take medicine for depression that would cause suicidal thoughts, seziers...extra. It wasn't worth it then and now. Since then i have been aware of the depression and have done my darnest to fight it. I have had days where i was successful....and days where i was not. When I started taking Protandim everything changed. Protandim is a natural health supplement that helps with oxyidated stress which is linked to depression. Been on it almost 6 weeks. And i feel as if i have woken up from a slumber. I feel alive...whole...positive and trully happy for the first time in a LONG time. I have had no negetive effects from Protandim as well. The only effect is happiness, alertness and positive things. Also i have a few friends and loved ones who are on this for other reasons then depression. And they like me are truly amazed and impressed with what its done for them. I know that Protandim is a gift from the Lord and has changed my life forever. 

Watch abcliveit.com , look up the published studies on what Protandim can do on PubMed.gov , and check out all that LifeVantage has to offer you at mylifevantage.com/jeramydwillden . If you have ANY questions feel free to email me emmablogs1001@gmail.com . I will answer them to the best of my abilities. 

Have you heard of LifeVantage? Protandim?

Have you heard of LifeVantage?

Have you heard of Protandim?

Well if not I challenge you to go look it up. It has changed my life for the better in more ways then 1. I will post more here on my blog about how it has changed my life. But for now this is all I will post.

Go watch abcliveit.com , look up Protandim on PubMed.gov there are published studies. Watch Youtube videos of LifeVantage & or Protandim Testimonials. It will change you life. I testify that this has worked wonders for me and many of my loved ones.

So blessed and so thankful to have found the Company LifeVantage and thier AMAZING products when I did. My life will never be the same. And for that I am beyond grateful.

Also check out mylifevantage.com/jeramydwillden .

This is extraordinary.

Tips for Housekeepers

I've been a housekeeper for little over a year. And just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has ever left a tip for housekeepers. You have no idea how those small and simple amounts of money change my day, and life.

I just became a mom a few months ago and not long after my husbands hours were cut at work and he ended up having extremely smaller pay checks then usually. We were struggling to pay the bills and still get food and baby wipes and diapers. One morning I woke up to find we were nearly out of wipes. And I knew we were way negative in the bank, so before I left for work I offered up a prayer. I asked that I'd be able to buy at least one package of wipes that day. As I went about cleaning my assigned rooms that day I found $15 in tips through out all my rooms. I was in shock. Usually I find less then $8 a day. And most days I get only a couple dollars. But that is on the days I actually find tips. But to find that much and after work be able to buy not only one box but two boxes of wipes because it was on sale. I felt very blessed. I have thanked the Lord for providing what I needed that day. But I also want to thank everyone who has ever left tips. $1 goes along way when you have nothing tell payday and even after payday nothing still. When you walk into a hotel room to clean up the mess big or small and see even just $1 it makes your day.

To be completely honest I never even knew you could leave a tip for housekeepers. I wish I had known that all the times that I stayed in hotels in the past. Which hasn't been very much. But know I know that you can, and if I ever stay in another hotel I'll leave the biggest tip I can at that time afford to do. Even if its $20 or more. Because those are the most rare to find. But not only will I leave a tip but a note as well. Because leaving a note makes it so much more meaningful. I once found a note that had a scripture on it that was about how God so loved the world , he gave his only begotten son. And on the note was a heart and it said Jesus loves you. And with it a $5 bill. I know he loves me, but its always nice to receive a small reminder that he is there. Although my favorite note I ever got I put in my journal to keep. A small child had drawn a picture of the hotel and employees. And had written Thank you Housekeepers on it. I don't remember how big the tip was with it. All I remember is that a small child took the time to thank me, even though they never met me, and they dont know me.

I just want to say thank you to those who care enough to leave even a little to thank us for our work.